Gag Certificate Wording Generator
Free copy-paste wording for retirement, birthdays, office awards and Secret Santa. No sign-up, no email, nothing to download unless you want to.
Free to use and free to reuse, including commercially. Last updated
Optional. Fill these in and every line below fills itself in too.
For the leaving do, the card, and the certificate someone reads out loud.
Award titles
- Certified Professionally Retired
- Doctor of Doing Absolutely Nothing
- Master of the Permanent Weekend
- Officially Off The Rota, Forever
- Honorary Fellow of the Long Lunch
- Certified Alarm Clock Refusenik
- Emeritus Professor of Knowing Where Everything Is
- Distinguished Graduate of the School of Enough
Citation lines
- In recognition of [years] years of service, and of never once explaining how the printer works.
- For outstanding contribution to the department, and to the biscuit tin.
- Awarded for surviving [years] years of reorganisations with the same email signature.
- For services to institutional memory, now walking out of the building.
- Presented in gratitude for the answers nobody else in the company had.
- For [years] years of turning up early, and for finally being allowed not to.
Closing lines
- This certificate entitles the holder to ignore all future calendar invitations.
- Valid for life. No renewal required. No handover document accepted.
- The holder is hereby released from all meetings that could have been an email.
- Signed, sealed, and gratefully handed over by everyone left behind.
Want it on an actual certificate?
Paste any line above into a premium novelty certificate, preview it live, and download the print-ready PDF in minutes.
View tiers & pricing